Four Faces of Fellowship by Gary Goodell

This little survey and its result pose a very important reality in the emphasis we make on meetings and more meetings. Could it be that with all of our work and rehearsal and planning of our weekend church meetings that we could be missing the whole point of church? Even our worship wars seem misguided. Our battle over styles of worship, types of meetings, and forms don't really seem to matter. The issue isn't whether our worship or liturgy is Beatles, Bach or the Beach boys.

It seems that the real primal cry of believers is what John Eldredge describes in his book, Waking the Dead, as the fact that we are all in need of and desperately searching for. We are after "fellowships of the heart." We are all part of a great company of believers or as the Nicene Creed calls the "holy catholic" or "Universal Church," yet we all function best in little platoons, in smaller companies of friends that are our intimate "allies of the heart."

Like many, I have come to the conclusion that this kind of true community, of pure connectedness is hard work. I think the reason why so many believers remain warehoused in their Sunday lecture gatherings is because getting to know one another takes time, energy and sometimes just way too much effort.

After all, if I meet with a small group of believers that are openly sharing their lives together, I can no longer plead ignorance to the plight and journey of others. If I hang around you long enough you just may leak some parts of your daily walk that challenge me to offer my cooperation and partnership with you in your journey. I may have to actually show up through prayer and care.

Our large detached meetings often feed this disease of isolation that has so predominantly marked church as we know it. And because loneliness is not an isolation of space but an isolation of spirit, being surrounded by gobs of people worshiping, listening, singing doesn't mean community is happening. Even joining with others in the meeting through pray and sharing does not guarantee you really have connected with those people in a way that meets your true fellowship needs.

Somewhere on your journey, you must look for these faces in your fellowship. Without them, we are missing what real fellowship really looks like.

The Faces of Faith – Whether it is sharing God-sightings in your life, your most recent answer to prayer, or the latest revelation of God in your personal time with the Father. When you don't have people to hear these things and get excited with you about them this Christian walk lacks bounce, a sense of lift, and even these great episodes in your life loose their flavor too quickly.

Make sure you have people in your life who readily provide you with opportunities to share your delights in God that makes their faces shine with faith.

The Faces of Failure – This face must been revealed as well as seen. And often must be risked by someone before others show their face of failure. This one requires even more work. It asks the looming questions. Who do I share my battles with? Who do I trust with not only knowing my successes or my feats of faith, but who do I open up to about my fears, my failures and my faults? This takes time. Regular times of meeting with one another and regular times of praying for one another. Regular times of opening up, of confession, of admission, and of vulnerability. Openness breeds openness, honesty breeds honest, and hiding breeds hiding.

One the ways fear becomes such a force in our lives is that it flourishes in the dark. Not just the fear of the dark, but the fears that feed in the dark. The darkness of simply fighting your fears by yourself. It is amazing that sometimes the very act of speaking your fears turns the lights on and breaks them and their hook off of you.

You find out a lot of things when you speak your fears, your faults and your failures. You realize you are not actually alone at all in these fears. You find out they are common, consistent and conspicuous in other believers lives as well, and that as listening brothers and sisters, we can fight them together and win.

The Faces of Fun – As much as you need places with faces to share your faith, your fears and failures and faults. This one has to happen, and has to happen quickly in your fellowship journey. You have to have people to smile and laugh much. The fellowships of people I have traveled with over these last few years have felt way too much like a triathlons rather than floating down a refreshing stream in a big ole' inner tube enjoying the ride.

Too many of my Christian friends haven't a clue about having fun. Everything is about the latest, greatest, and most serious new intercessory assignment. We are all infatuated with our own giftings and callings and the lethal weapons we are called to be in spiritual warfare. Unfortunately too many of our meetings feel more like war room strategy sessions for the last phases of battle than a night at the Comedy Store with friends.

Oh, I know these are the last days, I know times are tough, and I know we have work to do. But come on, lighten up. If I recall correctly, we have all read the last page of the book, and we win.

I think it is especially true of the next generation that they are looking for dependable, and meaningful relationships that are based on friendships and socializing. A way of being together that feels all together like hanging out at the mall or having pizza.

Faces of the Future – There is a specific part of your journey that must be traveled alone, or as M. Scott Peck called, "The Road Less Traveled," and there also is a significant part of your journey that will only be discerned, mapped out and discovered as it is traveled with a few fellow travelers.

In the same way you make room for God through solitude in your life, you have to invite a certain community into your journey by sharing your dreams, your aspirations and even the ideas about what your future might look like.

Part of your fellowship walk must include a "dream team," or people who know where you want to go. These teams must be made up of people that not only believe in God but also believe in you. They are not "dream thieves," they are your own personal "dream team."

So what does your fellowship life look like? Not how many meetings you attend weekly or how many times you have gone through the Book of James with others. Are you walking consistently with true "allies of the heart?" Do you have people in your life that you feel free to share your adventures and your faults with? Do you have people who cry with you when you are crying? Do you have people you laugh with when you are laughing? When was the last time you met with your friends and laughed so hard your sides hurt for days? Do you have people in your life with which you have risked the stewardship of your dreams? And are their people in your life actually committed to helping you get to where you are going?

All of these faces are needed in your fellowship life, and of course, they all require ways of meeting that actually have the working component of real, virtual, face-time.