The Anyone/Everyone Law by Gary Goodell

Author:		Gary Goodell
Posted:		11/25/2007; 5:43:48 PM
Topic:		The Anyone/Everyone Law by Gary Goodell
Msg #:		402 (top msg in thread)
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The Anyone/Everyone Law of small groups works like this. Whenever everyone in the group can no longer do what anyone else in the group can do the dynamic automatically shifts. So, if you consistently bring a component into a small group that does not allow for the full potential participation by everyone in that small group, you are no longer honoring this dynamic of small groups and the group is destined to become something else.

It has been said for years that when there is 12 or 13 people in the group, one or two stop talking and whenever the groups gets consistently larger than that one of two stop coming. We have all experienced this. Suddenly you have guests at your small group and quickly notice the rest of the group is no longer as talkative or participative. Without even planning on it the group automatically has shifted to a different dynamic with only the few outspoken ones sharing, and the normal free flow interaction of the group gets detoured, with the group usually having to revert to a Q & A format or even direct lecture with much fewer responses from all of the individuals in the group.

Far bigger and more predictable than our lofty ideas or thoughts, it is about this law or principle of group dynamics. Because of the size, ultimately the group itself decides what it will look like. And because the small group is all about the potential priesthood of all believers, not just the priesthood of the preachers, or the priesthood of the worship leaders, or the priesthood of the most outspoken and gregarious, these numbers and shifts cannot be ignored.

For years we have catered to this habit of adopting large-group components into our small-group meetings. We simply thought that these things would make it more meaningful and rich even though the group was smaller. Or we simply missed the elements that work well and are perfectly designed for our larger celebration times.

But much of the repetition of these elements is based upon our own traditions and adapted styles of leadership. Too often not realizing that these large-group components and our addictions to them can in fact abort the very group dynamic we are longing for in the smaller group. For years we formatted the whole small-group meeting with instrument-led worship, a controlled check-in time which allowed a little token sharing and participation, all pointing to the individual assigned to share the Word with us that night.

So, is this a small group? Not really, more like just a smaller amount of people in a different geographical setting while we were continue to superimpose components typical to a large meeting on to the small group. The results? O.K. Maybe a little more intimacy, a lot more coffee, a more casual seating arrangement, even closer access to the bathroom, but not really the honoring of the dynamics of small groups.

What is it in a small group that everyone can consistently participate in? Simple, the category usually falls into eating, talking, and listening, with the goal of everyone being potentially able to experience mutual edification.. If we have someone come to the meeting with pre-set components, then those very components can end up preventing others from the free flow of spontaneous interaction and participation so precious to a small band of believers. Canned, repetitive, predictable components can simply kill a small group. Even religious ones.

What About All the Worship That Pleases the Father?

Trust me, I deeply love worshiping God. I have observed and learned a lot over the many years of both leading and participating in corporate worship settings around the world. But, in all honesty Calvin Miller's statement, "worship is a table set for two," radically helped me understand the sadness of how we Western Christians are addicted to a certain grid, or set, or chemistry of corporate worship, and too often because we have not developed a personal history with God, nor holistic, whole relationships with others we have to watch as we adopt our favorite musical forms that in general have become our Christian version of American Idol.

Plus, even some of our more faithful small-group musicians get filled with intimidation and fear in a room a living room that lacks adequate sound reinforcement they get too quickly are being compared to the latest CD that was cranked up in our cars on the way to the group.

And pity the musician who may be a little rusty or lack luster and does not have the current Top 10 worship tunes under his belt. These kinds of experiences bring up some of the core issues about small groups, and some of the core issues about worship.

Who said music and songs are the only true worship? Who said that guitar-led music is superior to keyboard led stuff or even a mixture of non-instrumental, acoustic and/or tribal sounds? Didn't God talk about "everything that has a breath," "not everyone who can play a guitar?" (Psalm 150:6) What if it is not about musical or instrumental sounds, but instead it is about all that happens in a person's life, a person's heart, and the prophetic acts of obedience that determines whether it actually becomes "worship that pleases God."

We need to lower the bar of our expectation of certain music talent and gifting. It seems that God likes what comes from the heart, not just from the art. He even likes noise, and joyful sounds. So again, if we want to honor the dynamics of a small group, let's put up with people's attempts at grunts and groans, and whistles and hums.

Throw a bunch of kid's noisemakers on the table in the middle of the meal and see what comes up. Or hand everyone some pots and pans and spoons. You may drive the neighbors crazy, but it just may please the Father. Or simply make room to host a not-so-polished voice being lifted up a cappella from one of the regular brothers or sisters at the table.

If you ask a musician to bring his or her guitar to the small, intimate group, and ask them to consistently lead worship, you may run the risk of modeling something that you really don't want to reproduce. Simply, that worship can only come out of certain musician(s) or out of certain sounds or songs rather than the potential songs or sounds that spontaneously can come out of one or more of the individuals in the group.

When the instrument of one individual and the sounds that that one person produces becomes the sole means of what we call worship, then, that guitar has become the new pulpit and the four songs sheets on the floor in front of that guitar player becomes the new agenda or liturgy or curriculum for the group. Rather than the group being the agenda, the group being the sound and what God can serendipitously orchestrate that night.

Trust me, sounds of worship will come, music will come, but maybe poems will come, maybe riddles will come, maybe stories will come, and spontaneous prayers, and freely shared God-sightings. Lots of laughter will be heard, and mingled with many tears, and the joyful affirmation of one another. The passing around of the dessert will come, along with the passing of the babies from one person to another, and so many other creative things that God gets pleasure out of. These forms and sounds and expressions must be allowed to come out of the group as everyone in that group continues to be allowed to participate as importantly as any one individual in that group.

Schedule All of the Different Kinds of Meetings You Want

I have said for years, simply enjoy what is enjoyable in your small group and enjoy what is enjoyable in your larger group. For example, despite what I said about worship in the above paragraphs I am a child of the 60's, and I love a kickin' worship band with anointed, jammin' musicians. When they get going and get in their groove I can hang out with them for hours, singing, dancing, waving banners, blowing whistles and partying. But I wouldn't try to fit that same 12-piece band and all of their gear in my living room. On the other hand, where small potlucks are feasible, fun, and even functional, I don't want to even think of feeding thirty people, let alone facilitate a full meal for hundreds.

This is not hard. Please, please have all the meetings you want to have and have energy for. Have them around teaching, prophecy, worship, and the arts. But remember Christ's example and that of the early church. Church is a small group of people meeting in a home around a meal sharing their lives together.

Lectures In the Living Room?

Sure, you can periodically say to your small group, "Next week, we will be teaching on..." Or, "Hey, let's gather again on Friday night and read through the Book of Romans, or so and so's latest book." Or, "Anyone open to gathering on Saturday afternoon for prayer and worship?"

But do all of that remembering that the main purpose of the gathered church in these smaller groups is to gather around a meal for mutual edification. It is not teaching, nor worship nor evangelism, not even for what we have settled for as fellowship. It is one thing, mutual edification.

Have all of the different kinds of specifically-called meetings you want to have, but keep small church meeting special, by honoring the sole reason of the gathering for eating and blessing. You will occasionally format the small group, and have a specific thing to do and a clear specific agenda for a given meeting, like even the throwing of a birthday party for someone in the group. And you may want to format a periodic meeting around a subject or text, but even then you can do it in such a way that facilitates discovery and interaction and not just listening and lecturing.

Try To Keep the Core Small Group Format Pure

The small group of around ten can gather easily on a regular basis. Most of the time weekly is best. That 10-sized group can easily fit into a house or even small apartment, and can often fit around a table, or make a circle in the living room.

In this group, the goal is that everyone brings something, so potluck becomes starts by becoming a prophetic act. Your casserole is how you show up even at the beginning of the meeting. Everyone needs to eat, even the kids, who sometimes may make the group larger than ten, but also can function for the most part in another room with their videos, their homework and their laptops. And these little guys are great at all kinds of multi-tasking as they migrate in and out of the adult group. In fact, watch, the kids will invite themselves into a group that laughs, tells stories, interrupts and enjoys eating together.

The litmus test still stands. When anyone or everyone in the group can no longer do what anyone else in the group is doing, the group dynamic shifts. In all of our doing of meetings, let's try to do this one kind of meeting well. It is not only the smallest in Jethro's list but probably the best prototype for New Testament Church life. Believers gathered around a full meal (I Corinthians 11), finding Christ in the meal, doing it often, and with gladness and simplicity of life (Acts 2). Kind of like the original Happy Meal.

Worship in this small group can be a rewriting a couple verses of everyone's favorite Psalm and reading it as worship to God? It can be a linking by memory, passages of Scripture that address a certain theme. Worship can be the individual members of the group sharing an attribute of God that puzzles or mystifies them. We can ask different individuals to share their "life stories" over a series of weeks. Worship can be highly creative without feeling like canned components.

In all of our meetings and forms and gatherings, let's be careful to keep a clear commitment to a certain type of small group meeting that feels like family more than form, like celebration more than a congregation, like a party more than a performance and like a meating rather than a meeting. Like "Cheers Christianity" (Remember the ole' Ted Danson sitcom?) where everyone knows your name.

The only components necessary are eating and blessing, talking and listening, with your mouths full of food and friendship.